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A Foolish Kind of Love

Written by Will and Odette Hooks
Published: June 15, 2010

 

There is an expression that says, “A sucker is born ever minute.”  Although as it relates to love, there seems to be a “Fool born every minute.”  No one class of people can claim a monopoly on playing the fool in the love game.   No matter your background, age, economic or social status, race or gender, fools come in all shapes, sizes and colors.  Lets explore the meaning behind a foolish kind of love.

Will:  We all know someone who is head over hills in love with a person you know is no good for them.   Perhaps a close friend, co-worker, relative or maybe deep down inside you, may very well be the individual this article will relate too.  What makes a person start and stay in a relationship that constantly brings with it an exhausting amount of drama, stress, tears, heartache and headache and how can that be defined as love?  How can someone so freely give of themselves in the name of love and receive nothing but apologies, alibis, and excuses in return?

Odette:  Yes Will, this is so true.  I want to speak particularly to the women on this issue.  For example, a woman who meets a man who does not have a job, marries him four months later, still with no job, and wonders why five years later he won’t keep a job.  Second, a woman meets a man and is fully aware that he has had the same girlfriend for the last ten years, two of those years she has been sleeping with him, he leaves his girlfriend to be with her and now she wonders why seven years later after being solely with her, or so she tells herself, that he has not asked her to marry him.  Third, a woman with a very successful career making six figures meets a man at church who tells her God told him to marry her.  She marries him a few months later and wonders why she is paying all of the bills including some his friend’s bills and why he will not get a job. 

Will:  WOW!  What a fool believes.  However, you do raise an interesting point.  It’s amazing to me how smart levelheaded people ignore all the obvious warning signs of danger when it comes to love.  What about the woman that stashes drugs for her man, or use her good credit against his sad credit.  She lies, cheats and steals at the request of her man.  I laugh when I hear the term “Thug Love.”  What does this meaning suggest to the average person?  A thug typically goes against the norms of society, nor is love in his vocabulary.  So, does that suggest that the person seeking love from the relationship is a fool?  Well, you do the math; by the way to quote Fifty Cent “I’m into having sex I ain’t into making love.

 

Odette:  So sad and so true, who in their right mind wants the worst for their life?  We all want the best life has to offer.  We invest time in researching the community we live in, the schools our children attend, the careers we hold, the cars we drive and yet when it comes to who we give access into the personal and intimate areas of our lives, we so carelessly make decisions that completely alters our life for the worst.  It’s absolutely amazing to say the least.

Will:  As I said from the start, this is a great discussion but at the end of the day what are we saying?  Just this, love is what you make of it, the interpretation is left up to the person willing to participate and discover what love has to offer.  The sad truth is that women are more commonly playing the role of “The Fool” in the relationship However, it shouldn’t take a bruised face, broken bone, a night in jail, hours of counseling, sneaking in and out of back doors, secret rendezvous, constant fighting, fear, depression, and stress for a person to know they have lost themselves and become a victim of foolish love.  An honest examination of the relationship will reveal the quality thereof.  Are you getting out of the relationship what your putting into it?  I often hear people describe their relationship as “Complicated.”  If that’s the case, then I’ll be the first to tell them you’re in the wrong relationship.  I have never had to describe our relationship/marriage as complicated.

Odette:  I want women to really think.  How many men do you see with all the children while mom is at home resting?  How many men do you see standing in the WIC and Food stamp lines?  Don’t laugh, remember those successful women from earlier… I have seen them lose everything and end up in need of state assistance.  There are so many women that meet a man and a year or two later wish to God they had never met. 

 If you’ve ever taken a chance on love only to come up with the short end of the stick, don’t be discouraged.  Love is somewhere out there just waiting to make your acquaintance.   Be patient, be smart and remember, when you’ve reach the point where common sense runs out and wisdom has long since departed from your thought process, you’re left with only foolishness as your guide and heartache as your companion.  Good luck on your journey… 

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